Your Flight Has Been Diverted by Homeland Security
Welcome to Crites Field in Waukesha
“They’re barricading our employees from coming in and out of the facility. Then, why are we processing international flights into the airport there? And I, we are currently — which we’re not initiating yet — but we’re currently drawing up plans to say, listen, these sanctuary cities where the local radical-left Democrats aren’t allowing us to do our jobs and enforce federal laws, then we shouldn’t be processing international flights into their cities either.”
— Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin on Fox News
Your Flight Has Been Diverted by Homeland Security
Secretary of Homeland Security Markwayne Mullin is threatening to pull the border patrol agents to provide security for his archipelago of gulags for people being deported from the United States.
Apparently frustrated with the protests outside the New Jersey facility, where several detainees are on a hunger strike over living conditions, Mullin threatened to start with the Newark airport. However, the plan being considered, according to Mullin, would include all airports in so-called “sanctuary cities.”
“They’re barricading our employees from coming in and out of the facility. Then, why are we processing international flights into the airport there? And I, we are currently — which we’re not initiating yet — but we’re currently drawing up plans to say, listen, these sanctuary cities where the local radical-left Democrats aren’t allowing us to do our jobs and enforce federal laws, then we shouldn’t be processing international flights into their cities either,” Mullin told Fox News.
The plan to disrupt international travel comes at a time when foreign tourism is already down substantially. CNN reported foreign travel to the United States is down 5.5%. Foreign tourist spending in the United States is down more than $8 billion.
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy has tried to make up the difference by getting corporations to donate millions to his summer travel, but even his family vacation and home movies can’t make up for the 42% drop in tourism from Canada, according to the Daily Beast. Despite his job title, Duffy is probably too busy having fun on his road trip to address Mullin’s threat to international travel.
Mullin’s plan to cause air transportation chaos has already been endorsed by one Republican member of Congress. Who says they don’t do anything?
"I think Markwayne is onto something here, this is a good idea, it's one way to crack down on what these sanctuary mayors have created," Sen. Jim Banks (R-IN) told Fox News. "It benefits states like Indiana, Texas and Florida, Republican red states that are playing by the rules."
And Harris Faulkner of Fox News summoned all of her intellectual candle power to imagine 1100 international flights going to “sanctuary” cities like “Boston, Chicago and Denver, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, San Francisco” suddenly going to “red states and cities” instead of those flights just getting cancelled by the airlines.
As a proud resident of one of those “red” cities in a crucially “red” county in one of the swingiest states in America, let me welcome all of you international travelers to Crites Field in Waukesha, WI.
I hope you enjoy your visit here. I realize that the sudden (okay, very sudden) stop on the runway may have been a bit jarring, but it was probably worth it not to crash into the lawn furniture warehouse store across the road.
Now it’s been a few years since a major airline threatened to land a large jet at the airport. The last time an airline even thought about it was an emergency landing simulation which really upset the good folks in our local control tower. But let me reassure you that it’s been a few years since we accidentally set our airport on fire with fireworks.
Setting up the new Customs and Immigration station at the airport will be a little tricky. The nearby Waukesha Expo Center is already booked with a card show, a giant rummage sale, Greek Fest (how international!), and our own county fair.
(Some of the acts appearing at the fair may be among those that cancelled appearing at the Washington DC giant state fair in June, so check out the fair while you’re here.)
Don’t worry. Waukesha has its own tour bus company that normally does a shuttle run to O’Hare International. Since you won’t be going there, we’ll have the bus take you to an immigration and customs processing center in downtown Waukesha, perhaps at the antique shop or The Salty Toad. Afterwards, stroll along our riverfront, get a tattoo at one of our local establishments, and eat a ponza at Jimmy’s Grotto.
If you’re lucky enough to be stranded here on a Friday night, make sure you check out the live music on Main Street in downtown. The street will be closed, so don’t expect your Uber driver to find you. Actually, your Uber driver probably won’t be able to find you regardless, because according to legend we designed our streets to prevent bank robbers from escaping. It’s worked pretty well all these years.
I would just strongly suggest not going to the bars and trying to keep up with the locals’ consumption of alcohol. It’s okay to visit our fine drinking establishments. But, like anywhere else in Wisconsin, the residents are professional drinkers.
If you need any restaurant recommendations, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll be home, waiting for your call, because I’m not dumb enough to get into an airplane with the Trump Administration running things.
Somebody Please Stop the Biden Family from Talking
Jill Biden, the modern-day Edith Wilson, claims in a new book she wondered if her husband President Joe Biden had a stroke during his disastrous debate with President Donald Trump in 2024. From the Associated Press:
“Is he short-circuiting? I thought,” she wrote. “Is this a stroke? It felt like we were watching an AI hologram of the man we knew, and the hologram was glitching.”
She wondered if he had been drugged or was experiencing a medical emergency.
He improved as the debate went on, “but not enough to reassure me or anyone watching that he was okay. He clearly wasn’t,” Jill Biden said. “I’d never seen that look on his face before in my life.”
The former first lady is either lying, or she is the one of the most cold-hearted women to ever have any proximity to power. Even Lady MacBeth had some sense of guilt.
If Jill Biden really thought her husband was having a stroke, or some other medical issue, why didn’t she stop the debate and get him help immediately? Because that’s what any other wife who loved her husband would have done.
If President Ronald Reagan had a stroke on the stage with Walter Mondale, does anyone imagine Nancy Reagan just standing offstage crossing her fingers? I may not have much (okay, not any) respect for Melania Trump, but I’m willing to bet in a Trump casino she would have stopped the debate if she thought her husband was having a stroke or a medical issue.
Instead, Jill Biden let her husband stand out there, stumbling through the worst debate performance by a major party candidate for president, and then afterwards praised his performance at a post-debate rally.
"Joe, you did such a great job. You answered every question. You knew all the facts," Jill Biden told the crowd. If she was really concerned about his health, what the hell was he doing at the rally? She’s obviously not telling the truth when she claims she thought he had a medical issue.
Besides, anyone watching that debate wouldn’t have thought Joe Biden was having a stroke. What they would have thought, and did think, is that it was cruel of Old Joe’s family to push him out on the campaign trail when age had finally caught up with him. He wasn’t physically failing. He was just a confused old man in desperate need of a long rest and care only found in retirement.
All the Biden family is doing now, whether it’s selling books like Jill Biden or Hunter Biden appearing with Candace Owens, is reminding voters why they rejected the Bidens in 2024, and why they thought the Democrats were guilty of covering up Joe Biden’s age and health issues. They directly contributed to Trump beating Vice President Kamala Harris in November by waiting too long before letting Joe Biden drop out of the race, and now the Bidens are providing a distraction from Trump’s many failings.
Somebody needs to tell the Biden family it would be better for all concerned if they stayed out of the spotlight for the next two years. They may think it’s unfair. Who cares? After shoving Old Joe out on the campaign trail one time too many, they deserve to be told to just shut up.
James Wigderson is a writer living in Waukesha, Wisconsin. He is the former editor/owner of RightWisconsin and a former columnist for The Waukesha Freeman. Once described as “the spokesman for the state’s far right,” by the Capital Times, Wigderson is now a critic of the new Republican Party under President Donald Trump